Papercut
by A.L. Blackwell
Summary: Goku died in the future, but they never really showed how Gohan reacted to it. Suicide attempt and depression Songfic...


**Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z nor the lyrics to Papercut by Linkin park. All rights reserved to their respectful owners. I do not make any money off this fic.**

**Papercut**

Gohan looked around him. "Why'd you have to die, Dad?" He yelled. The androids were running wild and there was no one to stop them. They had already killed all the Z-senshi; he was the only one left.

In his head, Gohan could hear the android's laughter as they had killed everyone. "Shut the fuck up!" he screamed. A yellow aura surrounded him as he became a Super Saiyan for the first time.

******** Why does it feel like night today

Something in here's not right today

Paranoia's all I got left

I don't know what stressed me first

Or how the pressure was fed

But I know just what it feels like

To have a voice in the back of my head

It's like a face that I hold inside

A face that awakes when I close my eyes

A face that watches every time I lie

A face that laughs every time I fall

(And watches everything)

So I know now when it's time to sink or swim

The face inside is hearing me

Right beneath my skin **********

Chi Chi ran out to see Gohan. "Gohan, what's..." She froze. "You're a... Super Saiyan?"

Gohan nodded. "I have to fight." He said quietly. "I have to avenge Piccolo and Krillin's deaths, and everyone else the androids have killed.

"But I'm not ready for you to die!" Chi Chi yelled. "Don't you see it? It's suicide fighting the androids!"

"But I can't sit around and do nothing!" Gohan yelled back. "I think Dad would have wanted me to fight."

Chi Chi began to cry. "There really is no stopping you, is there? Don't get yourself killed. I can't lose you, Gohan."

"No, there isn't." Gohan lifted himself into the air.

*********** It's like I'm paranoid/Lookin' over my back

It's like a/Whirlwind inside of my head

It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within

It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin ***********

Gohan looked all around him. Am I really going to fight the androids? Or was I just pissed about Dad's dying? Can I beat the androids? He asked himself.

_No, you can't._ A voice said.

Gohan looked around. "Who's... no one's there?"

_Yes, I am. At least in your mind, I'm here._

Gohan grabbed his head. "Go away! God damnit, leave me alone!"

_But I can't go away. I'll always be there. I have to get you to understand. You'll never accomplish anything. Give up now._

"No!" Gohan yelled.

******** I know I've got a face in me

Points out all my mistakes to me

You've got a face on the inside too and

Your paranoia's probably worse

I don't know what set me off first but I know what I can't stand

Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is

I can't add up to what you can

But everybody has a face they hold inside

A face that awakes when they close their eyes

A face that watches every time they lie

A face that laughs every time they fall

(And watches everything)

So you know that when it's time to sink or swim

That the face inside is watching you too/Right inside your skin *******

"Gohan..." Chi Chi said softly.

Gohan looked up. "What am I doing here?"

"You hurt yourself training. Gohan, something's been seriously wrong with you since your father died. I'm worried about you."

"I can take care of myself." Gohan snapped. "Sorry Mom, but I have got to do this. I feel like I don't have a friend left in the world. The androids killed all of them, and I can't let them get away with it."

Chi Chi nodded and kissed Gohan's forehead. "Be careful. I'll let you rest." She closed the door behind her.

"Rest, I wish I could." Gohan whispered.

_Weak._

_You'll never amount to anything._

Gohan's eyes widened. "I know those voices! It's the androids!"

_Smart kid._

_But you'll still die._

"Leave me alone! God, am I a schizophrenic or something?" Gohan put his hands on his head. "I'm not crazy. I'm not! I cannot be crazy!"

Gohan curled up with his head on his knees. "Oh god! I really am crazy!"

_That's right. _The voice chuckled.

Gohan held up his hands. "Kame... hame..."

Chi Chi ran into the room and gasped. "Gohan, don't do it!"

Gohan put his hands down. "Why not?" He cried. "I'm a fucking schizo! How am I supposed to take care of you when I can't even handle myself?"

Chi Chi rubbed his back. "Don't think that, Gohan. You're not supposed to take care of me."

"But who's going to protect you from the androids?" He asked.

"I think that right now, you should take care of yourself. Goku's death hit you pretty hard, didn't it?"

"Yeah, and then the androids came and killed everyone." Gohan sniffed.

Chi Chi nodded. "You're in shock. It will get easier, I promise you." She kissed his forehead. "Go to sleep. I'll stay with you until you do."

Chi Chi looked at her son's face as he slept. Gohan, we have to make it through this. You have to fight the androids. You have to be strong, for both of us. I'm so close to breaking right now, but I can't do that to you. I can't leave you like everyone else has done, even if that wasn't their choice. Gohan, all I ask is that you get better.

AN: I went over this one and edited it and what not, not much has changed, but its still an old fic. Originally uploaded back in '02.


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